Ep 60 - Wellness, the perfect ingredient (episode 2) – Sherrie Tennessee

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0:02:36.7 S?: You are listening to ASCP Esty Talk, where we share insider tips, industry resources, and education for estheticians at every stage of the journey. Let's talk, 'cause ASCP knows, it's all about you. 

 

0:02:51.9 EC: Hello and welcome back to ASCP Esty Talk, the ingredient decked-out series. Here we explore the fascinating world of ingredients, and how they work within the skin. I'm Ella Cressman, licensed aesthetician and owner of the HHP Collective. I am also a certified organic skin care formulator and a total and complete ingredient junkie. Now, you'll remember on our last episode, we were talking with Sherrie Tennessee about wellness, and the ingredient highlight was our minds, and the power of our minds. And we had so much fun and we were not done. So this is the continuation of that conversation, because there's so much more to be said. So we were talking about this documentary, I was telling Sherrie, there is... I love this documentary, it's on Amazon Prime, and it tells a story that I was familiar with, but it's also included in this documentary of this... And I... I was telling Sherrie too... I don't know if I get the details wrong, but here's my version of the story. 

 

[laughter] 

 

0:03:52.4 Sherrie Tennessee: That's all that matters. You can google the rest. 

 

[laughter] 

 

0:03:54.7 EC: Yeah. You can google it. Google it. But what happened was, there's this... I don't know if he's a doctor, or a chiropractor, that's the details that weren't sure, but he was a triathlete as well. So he was training, or in a triathlon, that's another fuzzy detail. Irregardless, he's on a bike, he's on a road, and in this race, training or actual, he gets hit by a car, and he tumbles over his bike and he lands on his head. Breaks his back, long story short. And he was rushed to the emergency room, and there they said, "You've broken some part of your back, and you are going to need surgery to repair it. And in this surgery, we're gonna have to insert screws, and pins, and things." And as a doctor, or a chiropractor, whichever one, we'll have to google the facts, but that's not the... That's not as cool as what had happened, which was that he said... Anyone else he would have said, "Yes. Do the surgery. I highly recommend it." But it was himself, and he said, "I don't wanna do that, I can't." 

 

0:04:58.0 EC: And so what he did instead was he started meditating. And he would start with 20 minutes a day, and get more, and more, and more. And it was hard for him 'cause he had never done it before, but he was... He would try to go for two hours, and in that time, once he got into a deep meditative state, he would imagine himself repairing his spine, repairing it, putting it back together, fixing it as he would in real life for other people. So I guess he must had been a surgeon. And I think it was two, or four weeks later, he started feeling sensation again, and six weeks later he started having movement again, and I think it was 12 weeks later, he started training again. So he was able to heal his body with his mind, and in this documentary, I was familiar with that story, and it included in there, and there's a bunch of other really cool stories about the mind and healing. 

 

0:05:49.2 ST: I come from Biology, I actually used to do cancer research at The Johns Hopkins University, and looking... There was an article in Psychology Today that says, "The Placebo cure rate is as low as 15%, and as high as 72%." 

 

0:06:06.0 EC: What?  

 

0:06:07.0 ST: And the longer the study, the more that they see the effectiveness of it. So when you look at that, when you look at mindfulness, and Ellen Langer, Dr. Ellen Langer, she's, I think, at Harvard. She did these studies where she would take older gentlemen, and she would take them away for like a week, she'd put them in this house with music from their time playing, and different... It was almost like going at a time machine and stepping back like 50 years, right? And then they would come out and they had better mobility, their blood pressure was lowered, their vision was lower. 

 

0:06:44.9 ST: She did a study with cleaning ladies where they have had high cholesterol and they have had all of these illnesses and ailments and she said to them, "Do you realize that you're exercising eight hours a day as you're cleaning up and doing all these things," that you're doing the exercises that people pay to go do and if you look at it in that way if you consider it that way you're going to be healthier. And so she had a conversation with them, showed them videos, talked to them and I think six weeks later, again I'm a little fuzzy on the numbers and details, but in the end they had lower blood pressure, they had lost weight, they... All of the things that they... Had been plaguing them had dissipated just because of this conversation of bringing this awareness to the forefront. So when we talk about just wellness it is our mind. Our mind plays a huge, huge factor in what we're doing and you have the studies to do it. So I did this integrative health and wellness training, it's about a year-long training and the last eight weeks were all like let's look at these different conditions, let's look at pain, let's look at... Oh my goodness, it was some of everything, cancer... 

 

0:08:00.1 EC: Sleep. 

 

0:08:00.4 ST: Let's... Sleep, everything. And I'm telling you, one of the number one things was this cognitive behavior therapy, every single time, right? So it was like cognitive behavior therapy, maybe some supplements, maybe some body modalities but it really was every single time, let's train the mind. I will tell you what rocked my world though, it was this link between depression and pain and so what they were saying is when people have a lot of pain it triggers the mind and depression, on the flip side when people are extremely depressed they experienced more pain. And it was just kind of like, "Wow, what is this link and how do we diffuse that, how do we look at it, as you said, in a more holistic perspective." And I think that's where the integrative medicine where you're looking at the mind, the body, the spirit, the soul, the breathing, you're bringing all of that together versus, "Oh, you're depressed here's a pill. Oh, this father... Well, here's a pill." I just saw something, a commercial the other day and I was gobsmacked 'cause it was like, "Do you know that some depression pills cause you to have tremors? Here's a pill to deal with the tremors caused by your... " 

 

[laughter] 

 

0:09:14.8 EC: Oh geez. 

 

0:09:15.3 ST: "Depression medicine." And I'm like, "Oh," and not to say get off your medicine or anything right but it was like yeah can we look at it? Is it shutting down the system, is it building up plaque like why is this associated with these particular drugs and they work and I'm not gonna take that away from anyone, but let's look at the person as a whole. Is there something else going on? Are there other factors that are playing into it? Is there another more natural holistic component that we can give for the tremors but really thinking about how does all of this fit together versus kind of piecemealing it together. 

 

0:09:52.5 EC: Hey guys, stop. Let's take a quick break. 

 

[music] 

 

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0:10:38.5 EC: Let's get back to the conversation. 

 

0:10:40.8 ST: I'm reading a book, I've read someone on givers either Adam Grant and there was another one it's called Go-Givers Sell More or something like that, but they always say have your boundaries because takers don't. So I think also in the beginning when you start out in this industry, it's... We're hustling, we feel like if we do more and give more than... So that's the sage that you lit because I'm like there's smoke in your... 

 

[laughter] 

 

0:11:11.8 EC: Yeah, they can't see it but I just lit some sage just talking about that client makes wanna clear the room. 

 

0:11:16.8 ST: I'm like, "Oh something's on fire," but I think in the beginning and you see this, like we charge less, we give more, we wear ourselves out because we don't really know our worth and our value. And I teach for a school out of New York and I always say to them I'm like, "People are in need of your services so conduct yourself in that way, know that you're worthy, you don't have to bend over backwards to show your value." And I think we're just kinda... We're insecure about stepping into this, this new skill set and being a beginner in anything you feel like I'm gonna give more, I'm gonna do more with the hopes that they'll like me and I think you have to go in the opposite direction of one I really like me and I take care of me and I put my love, effort and intention into what I'm doing, the client will feel that. Be it a piece of artwork, be that it a piece of furniture, be it a facial or a massage. When you show up whole and taking care of yourself and knowing your worth and approving of yourselves, clients can pick up on that, like they... 

 

0:12:18.3 ST: I was just... So I love Instagram probably more than I should and this woman was like, "I cat sit for this cat, it was like 25 years old and it would howl at the bottom of the steps, and I'd have to pick it up, and I'd have to spoon-feed it and it'd have to sleep in the bed with me. And she called the owner and was like your cat is having all these problems and she's like, "No, my cat doesn't have any of those problems, the cat knows that you are a softy and is taking advantage of you." And so then when she went back a couple of weeks later she said the cat ran down the steps and started howling so that she would come pick her up. So that's the same attention like when you're in aesthetic school, when I was in massage school they said to you, you attract what you are. And if I can go off on a the tangent right quick... 

 

0:12:58.7 EC: Sure. 

 

0:12:58.7 ST: I hated feet... I'm nail tech and massage therapist that I am not a big feet fan. And you know, if you're in this industry, you have to do clinics. And I hadn't gotten over that, and I had a client... My first client in clinic, it's like 7 o'clock at night, black older gentleman. And he gets on the table, he takes the socks off and he's like, "Hey, I have poor circulation. Can you spend extra time on my feet?" And I look at his feet and he has blue toenails from poor circulation. And I said, "Yes, sir, absolutely." I said, "Okay, go ahead and finish getting undressed. I'm gonna step outside." And I stepped outside and I said, "I don't have feet issues anymore, 'cause I cannot have another 10 years of everyone coming in to me with blue toenails." So I mean, if you are that softie, you might not attract those softies, you might attract those people who take advantage of softies. So I really think that goes back to knowing yourself, knowing your worth, where are those challenges, those things that you see and recognize. Like I remember in massage school, the woman broke... One of the students had broken her nose. 

 

0:14:02.0 ST: Who got picked to do the facial and working on the nose? The one who broke her nose. And she cried on the table 'cause she hadn't let anybody touch her nose. So you're going to be attracting those experiences until you heal them, right? So we covet, but it's gonna repeat, so you have to heal those things that you're coveting in order to move forward. And I think that's really when you talk about wellness, it starts, again, it starts with that self-love and loving those dark parts, loving those broken parts, loving those unhealed parts, so that you can fully... You're like, I love myself except for... No, it's like I love myself and all of this and all of that. 

 

0:14:44.4 EC: Because of... 

 

0:14:46.2 ST: Because of what you've overcome and not seeing it as this victim, you're really seeing it as a victory and a triumph because you made it through these various situations. As you said, life happens. Life is coming every single day. It's unexpected, like no one predicted 2020. There's no business plan that said you will be closed for six months or a year and make no money, that was in no projection. But how do, you know, how do you adapt, how do you adjust? And what we have seen is those companies that, as you said earlier, were flexible, that had integrated plans, that were able to adjust, those are the ones that were the most successful. 

 

0:15:27.4 EC: I was recently around this mega millionaire guy, and he was the most boastful person ever, arrogant, boastful. And it was very impressive the first day, 'cause I was around him for a week. It was very impressive the first day. I was like, "Oh wow, yeah, that's great." And then by the fifth day, I was like, "You know what, you should just write a book." [chuckle] 'Cause I wanted to shut down the conversation from this constant money talk, and this is what I do for these people, and this is what I do for those. And he goes, "Let me ask you a question. What is success?" And I said, "Mmm, happiness." And he did not like that answer. [chuckle] He did not like that answer, he did not like having an answer... 

 

0:16:08.9 ST: Mm-hmm. 'Cause it didn't have anything to do with a house or a Lamborgini. 

 

0:16:11.0 EC: 'Cause he was hoping I was gonna say notoriety or something material. And I was like, "Uhm, happiness." And so, I guess, something else I want to just bring up is that definition of success, as well as the definition of happiness is your own, right? And looking at other people for comparison or comparison, period. What is that... You'll probably know of some quote on comparing, but... 

 

0:16:36.7 ST: It's a waste of... Basically, it's a waste of energy. [chuckle] 

 

0:16:39.5 EC: It's a waste of energy 'cause it's the Devil's work or whatever, and it's not... Like comparing yourself to others, you don't know their circumstance, so I don't make enough money for this, or I don't... They're doing better than me. 

 

0:16:52.3 ST: Or they have that. 

 

0:16:52.4 EC: Yeah. 

 

0:16:52.4 ST: And I mean, in this world of social media, we're posting our successes and not our failures. So you see the sunny side, you don't see the moon side, right?  

 

0:17:01.6 EC: Yeah. 

 

0:17:01.9 ST: The dark side of the moon because that's not what we're taught to share. 

 

0:17:05.8 EC: No. 

 

0:17:05.8 ST: You're not taught to share your failures or your shortcomings. It's only success, success, success. But it takes... You climb the mountain to get to that success, and then you know what's on the other side of that mountain? A valley. And in the words of Iyanla Vanzant, there is value in the valley. 

 

0:17:19.3 EC: There is. 

 

0:17:19.8 ST: But you have to go through the valley to get to the next mountaintop, and we don't talk about that. And I'm gonna be transparent myself. One of the things that I've had to deal with is my business did close in 2009 from the Great Recession, and I was... I equated my whole life to that spa, and I had put five years into it. And it was my baby, and it was who I identified with. And when it closed, I really lost myself. I didn't know who I was as an individual. And it's taken me almost 12 years to say here like, "Yes, my business closed, but I'm not a failure because of it. I'm wiser, I have more stripes. And there was truly value in the valley." And I had a... I was interviewing for a University, they had a spa management class. And the guy, the professor was like, department chair was like, "Hey, well, what happened to your business?" And I was like like, my head dropped, my voice changed and I was like, "You know, my business closed." And he was like, "You know, I'd rather hire you because you've opened a business and closed a the business, which means you know the ups and you know the downs versus someone who's only had successes because they feel like everything they can do can be successful." 

 

0:18:25.4 EC: You have... 

 

0:18:26.1 ST: And that's not always true. Go ahead. 

 

0:18:28.6 EC: No. And if you think about some really great public examples of that is like Michael Jordan was... He didn't get picked up for his high school varsity team. While Shakira was kicked out of choir in seventh grade. She didn't make the cut. And there's people that... There's tenacity in that, and there's a pivot, right?  

 

0:18:47.8 ST: And resilience. 

 

0:18:47.9 EC: I have a... Our Miss Colorado... Mrs. Colorado pageant beauty pageant, something, I don't know. Again, with the details. But there's a beauty... [laughter] They hold held a beauty pageant over the weekend. And one of my clients competed again, this is her seventh year competing, and she won, seventh year though. And then every year, she could have given... I had another... Anyways, she could have given up and felt defeat after first year and felt some kind of worth, but she did not skip a beat. Every year, she'd be like, "Oh no, not this year, but I'mma get... I'm getting... " And I would think, how do you muster up the empathy... 

 

0:19:24.7 ST: Courage. 

 

0:19:25.8 EC: The courage, the self-love to do that again? To be vulnerable like that again knowing you did... And look at... And it held true for her and the same for us, is that if we're having a low financial point, it makes you understand what not to do if we're having a negative experience with a client, it makes you understand what not to do. 

 

0:19:45.6 ST: Yep. 

 

0:19:45.9 EC: It's all part of that, that whole... 

 

0:19:47.8 ST: All together. 

 

0:19:49.0 EC: Yeah, and not letting it get you totally down. 

 

0:19:52.9 ST: Yeah, you can have a moment of it. No, I have the master class and I was listening to James Patterson, who was talking about his first book and how it was rejected by 32 publishers, 32 not five, not 13, not 20, 32. And he was like, "I knew it was gonna be great, and I just kept moving forward." So I think that needs to be our mindset. We know this is great, how do we tweak it, how do we improve it. If you know no is not defeating, it's a not yet and how do we move through it. 

 

0:20:18.2 EC: Or maybe this isn't that great. And what can I do... I love constructive criticism. 

 

0:20:24.0 ST: What can I do to improve it?  

 

0:20:24.5 EC: When I taught classes, I'd always... I'd at most of the time send out a little like, "How did I do?" And I'm like, "Look, I like all of them because I like the good and the bad. Don't just tell me I'm great, tell me where I can do better because... " 

 

0:20:35.4 ST: That's true 'cause if you're great, then there's no way for you to improve. Give me the feedback, how can I make this a better experience? 'Cause if I'm not... If... Especially as a teacher, I say to my students like, "If I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to the wall. So I wanna make sure that I'm talking to you and how can I make this a better experience for everyone here." 

 

0:20:50.5 EC: So if you're an aesthetician that works for a corporation or works for someone, asking that in your review, how can I do better? What can I do differently? What do I do? And in along with what do I do well, but receiving it and not being... Not letting it destroy you. 

 

0:21:08.2 ST: Yeah, you have to be open to the feedback, that's success. 

 

0:21:10.3 EC: That is... 

 

0:21:10.7 ST: And knowing whether it's from love or criticism, or to beat you down. But being open to that and being able to distinguish between the two. 

 

0:21:18.2 EC: Well, Sherrie, thanks again. I really appreciate you being willing to extend this conversation because there was just more than one little podcast we had to talk about it over, too. 

 

0:21:29.5 ST: It was, it was. So much, so much. I have to come back for a business one, too. 

 

0:21:33.6 EC: Oh yeah. I would love to... I would love that. Well, thank you for listening to ASCP Etsy Talk. For more information on this episode or for ways to connect with Sherrie, myself, or more information about ASCP, check out the show notes. Stay tuned for the next episode of Ingredient Decked Out. 

 

0:21:51.7 EC: Thanks for joining us today. If you like what you hear and you want more, subscribe. If you wanna belong to the only all inclusive Association for Aestheticians that includes professional liability insurance, education, industry insights, and an opportunity to spotlight your six skills, join @ascpskincare.com. Only $259 per year for all this goodness. ASCP knows, it's all about you.